The Picnic Table

Everyday on my bike ride from school, I notice the same picnic table. It's worn and well-used, sitting very close by the Thames River. Everyday this table is in use when I ride by. Earlier this week, by four colleagues with take-out pizza. Yesterday, by an older couple - one in a folding camp chair, the other sitting on the edge of the table - feeding the ducks. Today, a man lying flat on the table surface, with this arms covering his eyes.

There is something that draws me about this table, how it collects and releases people throughout their days. Sharing their moments. More so, I wonder what goes through the heads of the people who sit at the table.

Once at the beginning of medical school I lay on the ground near that table, under a tree. I needed to ground myself. I thought, "as if I'm in medical school and how am I going to do this". It was more of a statement than a question. And then I remember thinking about nothing. Just lying there by the picnic table, under the tree.

implication

it's funny how we get caught up continuously turning some things over in our heads.
around and around...with each turn, a perception of some new angle....some new insight.

and it's so fascinating if we can step back from ourselves. just a little - just for a moment...

and recognize a few of the countless, almost subconscious decisions we make each moment.
with every seemingly benign thought - every mindless interaction - lies the potential of influence...of energy gone somewhere.

sometimes i step back and recognize my insignificance.
and occasionally, i scare myself with the implications of all that energy i send - well directed or not so well directed...or not recognized as being sent at all.

the discovery of discerning intention.

be impeccable.

Never Stop Exploring. Especially in the Living Room.

People.

The key is to surround yourself with people that inspire you. People you admire. People you like to listen to. People whose work you like to read. People who make you feel good when you're around them. People who look up to you, and to whom you look up. People that you want to have sit in your kitchen and drink a glass of wine. People who want to hear about your life and your experiences. People you want to cook meals for so you can sit, talk, and eat. People who will drop everything at a moments notice to help you out of a bind. People for whom you would do exactly the same. People who love you. People you love.

it's funny how so often we feel as though we're starting again. starting over.


turning over a new leaf.


tomorrow.


and this time it will be right and better and real.


and this time it will last.


and tomorrow we'll hold on to that glimpse of perspective that made us realize we had to go back and reevaluate in the first place.





but we never really start again. we never quite turn around and let go of our self-defined flaws. our patterning.


and we strive and we disappoint and we keep trying and we keep loving.


and we just keep going.





i think sometimes we need to remember that there's nothing so magical about tomorrow.


it holds our possibility. just like right now.



and despite that i'm so excited for next week.

because next week holds time to re-center.

to start again.

Coming home again. Feels like the place you lived didn't keep up with your new energy. Feels like you forgot how it felt. Seems like the place you live and you need to come to a new energetic agreement. Feels like a good night to meditate and fill the space with positivity.

Goals. To stop hating and just love. To listen and don't fight. To enjoy being home. To spend lots of time with family. To be influential. To embrace my career. To rest. To be impeccable with my word. To be honest. To be here.

xxxooo K